Image is from https://profiles.howard.edu/nikole-hannah-jones
I wish educating America’s children were not so political. I wish every parent could choose the education they believe is best for their child without that choice being treated as a declaration of loyalty to a political cause. Families should be free to seek schools that reflect their values, faith, and beliefs. Yet parents are often judged for the decisions they make.
When my parents enrolled us in Christian schools in the early 1970s, people questioned them. My parents worried that public school might lead us to question our faith. Sadly, the Christian schools they chose taught that Black people were inferior to White people and even used the Bible to justify that belief. My parents decided we would stay and challenge it. That experience helped make me who I am today. But when it was time to choose a school for my son, I could not ask him to endure the same trauma.
I began with our neighborhood public school. I had taught in public schools myself and knew how wonderful they could be. After visiting and learning more about this particular school, though, I did not believe it was the right environment for my son. I then visited Christian schools. Some were too expensive. Others still held the racist beliefs I had encountered as a child. Even a predominantly Black Christian school had a board whose theology raised the same concerns for me.
One school initially seemed promising. It had a Black principal, a diverse student body, and families I knew. I even applied for a teaching position there. But during a visit, I watched the principal yell at a child for touching a hallway wall because he might get it dirty. The interaction felt oppressive to me. I left knowing I could not enroll my son there. By then, my son was halfway through PreK 4, and I still had no plan for kindergarten. I sat at my computer and prayed. Soon after, an advertisement for a nearby Sudbury school appeared in my Facebook feed.
I attended its open house and was drawn to its philosophy of freedom. There was little diversity, but I thought the approach could be wonderful for my son. When I tried to ask one of the leaders a few questions, he handed me a book about the school and dismissively told me to read it. I worried that my son’s questions and needs might be dismissed, too. I chose not to enroll him, but I did read the book. As I learned more about the Sudbury model, I began to see connections with classical education. Eventually, I found a school in Delaware that brought the two approaches together. It showed me the kind of education I wanted for my son and for other children. We were not going to move to Delaware, so after much prayer, we started The Living Water School.
That choice drew criticism from every direction. Some Christians questioned my interest in a model that did not have Christian roots and called me too liberal. Others questioned my interest in classical education and called me too conservative. People asked why I would not simply enroll my son in the local public school. I felt as though choosing the education I believed was best for him was being treated as a betrayal. Homeschooling families know this kind of judgment, too. Parents can be mocked for choosing to educate their children at home, even when they have made that decision with great care.
I thought about all of this when Nikole Hannah-Jones recently reflected on her decision to enroll her daughter in a predominantly Black public school that was struggling academically. As I understood her earlier position, she had viewed that choice partly as an expression of commitment to her community. Her recent reflection made me think about how painful it can be when a decision shaped by our ideals does not meet a child’s needs.At first, I felt frustrated. Her earlier comments had left me feeling that parents who made a different choice were being asked to defend themselves. Then I felt empathy. It takes courage to speak publicly about a decision you wish you had made differently, especially when others may have looked to your example.
For Black families, school choices carry particular weight. Redlining and unequal resources have limited the options available in many communities. A school outside the district may be financially out of reach, while a private school may offer opportunities but also expose a child to racism.
When my parents chose Christian schools for us, they were new Christians and assumed we would not encounter the racism we did. Both had been active in the civil rights movement. When they saw what was happening, their instinct was to stay and challenge it. They believed they could teach us to fight for our place in those schools. I know they made that decision out of love. In some ways, that struggle shaped me for the better. But I am from a different generation, and when it was time for my son to attend school, I could not bring myself to put him through the same experience. I chose to create a place where he could belong without having to fight for that belonging.
Every family must be free to make the choice they believe is best for their children without being judged for it. Many families long for schools that affirm their children and teach them to recognize injustice. Even schools committed to that work need the resources and training to make their classrooms healthy places for children.
Not every parent can start a school, and many cannot homeschool because they must work. Families make the best decisions they can with the options available to them. Some find ways to homeschool while working. Some choose online education, which is one reason we made The Living Water School an online school with affordability in mind. Others choose public schools and become deeply involved in their children’s education. Black parents have long sought choices in education because America’s public and private schools have not always provided our children with an equitable education. We have used whatever resources were available to find places where our children could learn and thrive. Many of the inequities that shaped those choices remain today. That is why having meaningful school choices still matters to our children and our communities.
I do not want parents judged for trying to care for their children. For a child living in a low income neighborhood or facing instability at home, the neighborhood public school may be the one steady place they can count on. We need to invest more resources in these schools and the communities they serve, because when we do not, we show that we do not value those communities. For another child, a different setting may be the healthiest place to learn and grow. If their parents have the means to offer that opportunity, they should not be judged for choosing it. They, too, are trying to do what is best for their child. Children are wonderfully different, and so are their families. No single school can perfectly meet every child’s needs. We need different kinds of schools and the freedom for parents to choose among them. The question should not be whether a parent’s decision supports a political position. It should be whether their child is safe, valued, nurtured, and able to flourish as the person they are.
As parents, we have responsibilities to our communities, but our children should never be asked to bear the cost of proving our loyalty to a political party, a cause, or even a community. Their well being must come first. Some families choose public schools because those schools offer an excellent education, serve as anchors in their communities, and bring neighbors together. When done well, all of this helps nurture a child. Other families find that a different setting is the right fit. What matters is whether the child is thriving.
Choose the school, public or private, where your child can receive a good education, feel safe and valued, and grow into the person they were created to be. Listen to your child and pay attention to their experience. No one outside your family can determine what is right for your child simply by judging the type of school they attend. If others question your decision, let your child’s flourishing speak louder than their judgment. You can fight for social justice and support your community, but at the end of the day, your child comes first. No cause should ask you to place your child on its altar.
