A Country of Bullying

I have been a victim of bullying. No matter how much I may dislike someone, I wouldn’t wish that experience on my worst enemy. Bullying is not just occasional unkindness; it’s an incessant onslaught of meanness that multiplies those moments a hundredfold, pushing you into hopelessness and depression. No one, absolutely no one, deserves to endure that.

What makes bullying even worse is when bystanders justify it, laugh at it, condone it, praise it, or remain silent. Our country was founded on a spirit of bullying. My family and ancestors lived through it. Our physical appearance was mocked in publications. Our slave masters ridiculed our speech, looks, and thoughts. After slavery, we were yelled at for entering unwelcome spaces. I’ve been called all sorts of derogatory names, from the N-word to being called a monkey. I remember when Michelle and Barack Obama were called primates in a publication. Recently, people have been saying Michelle is really a man. I’ve seen a former president bully a disabled person at a rally, politicians bullying each other during debates, and Christians bullying those who have abortions or are part of the LGBTQ+ community. Somehow we think that sharing our beliefs should involve being mean to those who disagree or believe differently, and that by bullying those who believe differently, we are doing the work of God or whatever belief system we have.

Years ago, I worked at a Christian school where a student was bullied because the student thought he was gay. He was an honor student, well-behaved, and a wonderful human being, yet he was relentlessly bullied. When we spoke with the bully’s parents, they justified their son’s actions as standing up against homosexuality. The parents blamed the victim. I was mortified and ashamed.

I have also been a bully. When I was younger, I teased a girl in my church because she was quirky and irritated the other kids. I believe it hurt her deeply. I’ve asked God for forgiveness many times and tried to make amends later in life.

Our country seems to be a breeding ground for bullies. We bully for not being an “American Christian.” We bully for not being conservative or liberal. We bully for voting or not voting. We bully for being Black or White, Muslim or Jewish, afraid of police or supporting police, for standing with Palestine or for standing with Israel. We bully women, men, homemakers, working women, Catholics, Protestants, LGBTQ+ people, and those who uphold traditional Christian values. We bully for having an abortion or for being Pro-Life. We are a nation of bullies. Depending on the news channel or influencer, we absorb a spirit of bullying and it shapes how we handle hurt. We prepare to retaliate with double the force if someone disagrees with or offends us.

I have never been a fan of Marjorie Taylor Greene. I find her offensive, rude, and racially insensitive. So, when she mocked Jasmin Crockett for her eyelashes, I felt that spirit of bullying rise in me, “Oh no, she didn’t! I can’t stand her!” I’ve always admired Jasmin Crockett. As a Black woman who has faced micro and macroaggressions in academia, her words resonate with me. When Crockett slyly mentioned “Bleached Blond Bad Built Butch Body,” my instinct was to laugh and think, “That’s what you get, Marjorie!” But then the Holy Spirit spoke to me, and I felt conviction.

Scriptures like “Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable unto you,” “Let our words be seasoned with salt,” “Life and death are in the power of the tongue,” “Love your enemies,” “Pray for your enemies,” “Turn the other cheek,” “If someone offends you, go to that person,” “Be kind to one another,” “Love one another,” “They will know we are Christians by our love” kept coming to mind. They replaced my sense of justification with sorrow for how we’re descending into this place of spewing hate and enjoying it.

I see Crockett’s phrase all over social media, on clothing, and people yelling it at Greene in public. As a victim of bullying, I know this is hurtful. Part of me thinks, “Well, she deserved it,” but that part should be dead in Christ. The part of me that feels this is wrong should be alive. My frustrations with Greene are not political; I find her offensive as a person. My respect for Crockett came from her reminding me of my struggle as a Black woman in academia. However, in these times, I’m drawn to keeping my eyes on Jesus because he shows me how to act in these dark days. His life is my light, even if it counters my natural feelings. Though some in my community laugh at “Bleached Blond Bad Built Butch Body,” I look to Christ and feel grief. We should not enjoy hurting and bullying people, no matter what side we’re on and no matter if they deserve it or not. Christ died for the very men who were literally nailing him to the cross! Jesus was frustrated with the Pharisees for bullying people, but his purpose was to bring them to repentance, not to bully them and laugh about it. I wonder if there was another way to deal with Marjorie’s rudeness so that she was held accountable and maybe that would set a precedent for moments like these in the future. Now there is just a cycle of continued rudeness and bullying amongst our nation’s leaders. That moment did nothing but cause my children, my students, the nation and the world to think that bullying is an appropriate way to interact even in the highest seats of our government.

Proverbs 26:20 says “Without wood the fires goes out.” Martin Luther King once said, “Hate can­not dri­ve out hate; only love can do that.” Both sides are adding wood to the fire or using hate to combat hate. When does it all end? At what point does someone stop the cycle? This is not about who is more wrong than the other or who is more justified than the other. Who will have the courage to stop the hate and usher in a more civil way to engage with one another? I feel sick looking at our nations leaders going back and forth with bullying and hate speech. The children are watching! We cannot emulate that behavior because we are teaching the next generation to carry on the hate that has been at the foundation of the country’s existence. I worry that our country is too far gone to be rescued from this bullying madness. We just cannot seem to stop the legacy of hate in this country. Now everyone has turned to hate. The victims have now become the bullies and the bullies are not given any accountability to stop. We are now a country of bullies. However, I hope that with my children, my students, and within my small circle of influence, I can inspire others to love everyone unconditionally and respond to hurt or offense in a way that brings positive change for everyone.