As a woman who has a career outside of my career of wife and motherhood, I am always challenged to know how to prioritize but I have a pretty hard and fast rule. I simply do not put career before my family. There are so many opportunities to speak and travel. I have been offered faculty positions in other states. I have been invited to teach over seas for a summer semester. I have been invited to speak over and over. Yet repeatedly, I have had to decline or cancel opportunities when the needs of my family call for it. When Covid was fairly new I was invited to teach in Greece yet I have a son who can be sickly and I knew if he got Covid it would not be good. So I declined with so many tears so I could make sure he would survive the virus. I know I made the right decision!
My marriage and my kids are more precious to me than any career opportunity or title and creating this framework has not hindered my progress in any way. Making these choices does not somehow make me weak. Setting priorities has helped shaped my life and overall, God continues to bless the work I am doing. My career has not been stifled, but it has progressed in a unique way where as I progress, my family feels like they are part of the journey, and they rejoice with me. I embrace God’s blessing over my career all while keeping my arms around my husband and kids.
Yes, sometimes I do get sad when I know I am missing an amazing experience or opportunity but that sadness dissipates when I can see my husband and kids each day and I can see that they feel my love for them. And usually when I decline one opportunity, God provides another one which allows me to keep my priorities in place and that opportunity allows for my family to enjoy the blessing with me, instead of feeling like I chose career over them. If you are able to financially (sometimes you have to do what you can to provide for family), then choose your family. Another opportunity will come where you won’t have to sacrifice your family for your progress. It’s just not worth it.
Dr. Anika T. Prather 