Working at Catholic University has been the first time I’ve truly felt welcomed to work in a predominantly White space. It’s been refreshing, and I don’t feel like my hiring was out of obligation or an attempt to fill a quota—it’s been a great fit, and our missions align well. However, despite this positive experience, I still feel some nervousness due to past situations where I was hired because I was highly qualified, but organizations seemed to prefer White candidates and only hired me because they couldn’t find a valid reason not to. In some cases, they hired me knowing that my colleagues didn’t want me there, hoping that my background and experience would win people over. I will never forget those first meetings where I was introduced, and everyone except the boss clearly showed their discomfort at my presence. I’ve even had bosses tell me that my co-workers didn’t want me there, but that they were hoping in time things would improve. When there is hate in the heart, no amount of work ethic will change it. In their eyes, you will always be inadequate and unwelcome. That’s a hard place to be. But we always press on, focusing on the goal, trying to unsee the hate, as we always do.
Many people struggle to understand that, in many predominantly White spaces, there’s a reluctance to hire people of color, regardless of how qualified they are. No matter how much “merit” they have, they won’t always be considered. DEI initiatives hold businesses accountable for this inequity. Some even ask why I apply to these places… but I apply because I am free to BE wherever. I hope, with time, those painful memories will fade as I continue to enjoy my time at CUA.
For those who have never held a DEI role, here’s a glimpse of the experience: you often need double the qualifications just to be considered and even then they try to find any small reason to discount you (i.e. having an EDD instead of a PhD.). Once you’re in the running, there’s immense pressure to demonstrate that you’re more qualified than others, and the hiring team must justify their choice. Even after you land the job—because you are genuinely qualified—you may encounter colleagues who try to undermine you. This leads you to communicate primarily through email and meticulously document your work and interactions, so if someone makes a false accusation, you have the proof to defend yourself.
It can feel like you’re managing a second full-time job just to keep track of evidence that you’re performing well. Others who have faced similar challenges know this struggle all too well. I once had a coworker, in a fit of rage, shout, “You’re so smart! Do you realize how smart you are?” This outburst came after she tried to undermine me in a meeting, where I had consistently backed up my points with solid evidence. As I calmly watched her cry and scream, she glared at me and yelled, “Don’t look at me! I’m angry at you!” Then she made some racially charged remarks. I remained composed, determined not to fall into the stereotype of the “angry Black woman.” It’s exhausting, knowing that one misstep could make me the target of blame, as they seldom believe in our innocence. Fortunately, another coworker witnessed the incident, giving me a strong case, which, while resulting in only a minor reprimand for her, was still something.
It’s incredibly frustrating not to be able to simply enjoy your job because someone resents your presence and actively seeks to have you removed. Throughout my career, I have left every job on good terms, with a host of supporters in the work I do. However, achieving that has come at a high price—anxiety, stress, and being overworked just to prove I deserve to be in my space. America has never been fair in its hiring processes, but affirmative action and DEI programs were efforts to address that imbalance. Now, with these initiatives dismantled and without significant changes in people’s hearts and minds, we find ourselves in a precarious situation. With accountability dwindling, people can dismiss, fire, or mistreat you without any repercussions, leaving you without the support you desperately need. These are indeed scary times.
Dr. Anika T. Prather 