“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”-Martin Luther King
For Thanksgiving, my husband, kids, and I decided to get away to a resort in Virginia. We had a suite, sparkling cider for a family toast, and a cozy fireside Thanksgiving dinner. What I loved most about this time was being able to listen to our kids talk— and talk they did! Our oldest son shared a troubling conversation he had with a White friend, one he had considered close until this incident. It was troubling because the conversation involved something deeply hurtful that shook my son’s perception of his friend.
Before the election, my son, another Black friend, and his White friend were talking about the candidates. My son’s Black friend asked, “So, what do you think about Kamala and Trump?” His White friend responded, “We don’t need no Black woman president!” When my son asked him, “So that’s all you got? What other reason makes her a bad candidate?” his friend had no other answer, except that she was Black. That my son had to hear this broke me. Sitting there, eating turkey, I was in shock, feeling frustrated that my son is experiencing racism in 2024. Either this racism was passed on by his parents or his parents failed to deprogram him from whatever ideas led him to this conclusion. As we ate Thanksgiving dinner, my son expressed his feelings: “I would never let a person’s race make me decide they’d be a bad president. I don’t like Trump, but it’s not because he’s White. It’s because of how unkind he is, how he talks about immigrants, and how he was connected to the insurrection.” It was touching to hear him so clear and thoughtful, despite everything.
Listening to my son made me reflect on how our country has slipped back into race-based hatred. The election felt like a race war, and I have some theories on how we got here. When Obama won, it triggered a fear in many that a person of color leading this country would dismantle old power structures, resurrecting the color line. When George Floyd was murdered during Trump’s first term, it sparked frustration in the Black community that led to movements like Black Lives Matter, books like How to Be an Anti-racist, and the 1619 Project. Yet, even with all the aimless protests, marches, and the global awakening to the persistence of racism, nothing changed—except more division, riots, and hate (and of course the founders of BLM benefitted in their bank accounts and mansions they acquired…the George Floyd Bill still collecting dust somewhere in Congress, but I digress). After the Democrats all wore Kente Cloth scarves and in a performative way, knelt down in honor of George Floyd, FEDERAL POLICE REFORM LEGISLATION STILL HAS NOT PASSED. What was all that for??? Was love the motivation? After all of that, now all the DEI work is being cancelled. Hate, on both sides, has fueled the rise of groups like the KKK, Proud Boys, and Nazis, and some people have chosen to ignore this hate while others choose to ignore the pain in Black communities. Hate got us here!
Hate got us here. While some voted for Trump because of his policies, many chose him simply because the idea of a Black woman president was something they couldn’t support, regardless of his criminal convictions and threats to the Constitution (as Mike Pence warned us about). At the heart of much of this is hate, and until we address that, real change in this country will be impossible. This hate is evident in how those who voted for Trump often lack a clear understanding of Kamala’s policies. I’ve heard some say she talked nothing but hatred toward Trump, when in reality, she was always clear about her stance on issues. Others claim she lacks experience, despite her career as a lawyer, AG, senator, and VP. They dismissed her as a DEI hire (code for : Black person), even though she was more experienced and had more degrees than Trump. We see this same hate in how Ben Carson, a world-renowned brain surgeon (who performed life-saving surgery on my uncle and is an extraordinary man), was placed in charge of HUD—far outside his area of expertise—and now, despite his qualifications, is being largely overlooked. Meanwhile, RFK, with no medical background, is leading Health and Human Services. It’s as if hatred blinds people to seeing the value of Black people. And even though I don’t agree with them, let’s not forget brilliant men like Tim Scott, Byron Donalds and others who have demonstrated loyalty to the Republican party and Trump and the only Black person appointed so far is another Black man to lead HUD (a department focused on low income housing). I guess that is considered a “Black job”? On the flip side, some people voted for Kamala simply because they hated Trump, without ever taking the time to understand her policies. Yet these same people were excited about Beyonce or Cardi B endorsing Kamala and that Obama was rapping with Eminem. I kept screaming “This isn’t the BET Awards! Yall, we got 4 months to make this happen!!!” Real love seeks the best for those it loves. Sometimes her policies that demonstrated love and equality for marginalized people, got overshadowed by hating Trump and keeping him out of the White House.
This brings to mind 1 Corinthians 13:3, which says, “If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” Ultimately, if love isn’t at the core of our actions—love for our country, our people, and one another—then America is lost. After everything this nation has endured, it should not be supporting those who foster hate, no matter which political party they belong to. My son’s experience with racism—being dismissed because of the color of Kamala Harris’s skin, without even discussing her policies—reminded me of how George Floyd’s life was discounted for the same reason. I think we are here because the Black community, in part, has been derailed from MLK’s dream, fighting racism with more hate. We’ve been made to believe that nonviolence and peace no longer work because change feels impossible. But what if change isn’t happening because we’ve stopped carrying the legacy of MLK’s vision? We’ve stopped trying to build a Beloved Community. When we were engaged in that work with him, meaningful change was happening. The divisiveness is evident everywhere—like when a White Congresswoman mocked a Black colleague’s hair, and instead of responding with grace, the Black woman retaliated by mocking her appearance (and logically it seemed the right response, but spiritually I can’t find a godly reason for it…and I so love her). We laugh at the drama and say, “That’s what she gets!” This hatred also shows up in DEI trainings I’ve attended, where, despite good intentions, the approach felt sarcastic, demeaning, and shaming. DEI work is at risk because it’s often rooted in frustration and anger because of the ever present racism OR a White supremist at heart is being forced to carry it out. Instead of DEI work being rooted in grace, love, and reconciliation it is done with a spirit of vengeance or a spirit of irritation that it even has to be done. Hate is perpetuating the problem, and no matter how many abortions people think they are stopping or how many “christian values” people think they are preserving, hatred is headed to the White House. Honestly, hatred was headed to the White House even if Kamala won. Some of us would have felt loved, but others would have also felt that hate. Wouldn’t it be amazing if both parties released themselves from the spirit of hate and vengeance and instead desired to embrace the policies that they felt were best for the country? Even still, do I allow myself to become entangled by the hate that plagues the entire government and country? Dare I fuel the hatred by posting more hatred on social media as I vent my frustrations?
There’s an old Indian story I share sometimes with kids called How Violence is Ended. It tells of two kings who hated each other, but the fighting stopped when one decided to make peace, without waiting for the other king to change. This is what MLK was showing us. Proverbs 26:20 says, “Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out.” At some point, someone has to decide to stop the hate and choose love. It’s the only way this madness will end. I’m not suggesting that Black people should be the only ones to be kind, but I am asking everyone—Black or White—to make a choice. No matter who you voted for, choose love. Don’t let social media provoke you into mistreating those who think differently. If you voted for Trump and hear the frustrations of others, choose to love. If you voted for Kamala and know someone rejoicing over Trump’s win, choose to love. Seek to understand the pain Trump causes in my community, and also seek to understand why so many chose him. Even if you don’t understand it—listen, I’m talking to myself too, because I don’t get it!
We are all entrenched in a place of hate. As a Black woman, I can honestly say that every day I wrestle with how to love people. I’m frustrated by my White acquaintances who fail to see the deep-rooted racism that still plagues our communities and fills social media. It often feels like they don’t care. When I try to share our experiences, some demand that I prove it—asking for more examples as if I have to convince them of the reality of Black pain. It’s as if I need to show them that the hurt is real, much like having to prove to a slave master that the whip actually causes pain. Discounting Black pain is part of the hate—it dehumanizes us. When I see a fellow Christian rejoice in Trump’s victory, it cuts me to the core. I’m not ignoring the fact that many people of color voted for him, but the reasons they chose him often seem misguided or troubling—some did so because of homophobia, others because they received a stimulus check. I spoke to someone who voted for him because of his stance on gay rights, despite their troubled personal history (on drugs, in and out of jail and got babies by different women everywhere….the audacity). Others didn’t support Kamala because they felt she didn’t like Black men. While some voted for him based on conservative values, I can understand that perspective, but still, many people of color who voted for him lack a deep understanding of politics or history, but believed some mythical fantasy land where men are in power, the lgbtq+ community is oppressed and they get monthly stimulus checks (help us LORD!). For their own selfish reasons they made a choice, dismissing his open disregard for people of color. This feels like the continuation of a painful history, where Black pain is minimized and overlooked, dating back to 1619. It’s as though we’re still being told, “Maybe this master can make life a little better,” even though that master has no intention of setting us free. Like George Washington just could not understand why his one slave ran away, because he kept giving her a stimulus chec…I mean whatever she needed, but she understood that she was not really free. She really wanted FREEDOM and EQUALITY. As nice as George Washington was known to be to his slaves (even though you know he did have to beat some who weren’t obedient), this too is hate. Giving a stimulus check to use the vote of oppressed people without any intention to pursue equality for ALL people or discriminating against the lgbtq+ community or ANYONE is HATE, no matter how much a person smiles or pretends to be a Christian. What’s interesting is how the media keeps highlighting the number of minorities who voted for Trump, yet rarely delves into the reasons behind their choices. At the same time, there’s little attention given to the fact that, for the first time in history, lifelong Republicans voted against their own party, even risking their careers. Trump’s former cabinet members, vice president and even a former Republican president also refused to endorse or vote for him. Why is the fact that more minorities voted for him, without clear or substantial reasons, more significant than the refusal of prominent conservative figures to support him? Yet, as frustrating as these realities are to me, I ask myself, should I respond to this with hate as well?
In the midst of my frustration, hopelessness, and uncertainty about the future, I find comfort in one thing: the Bible never changes. I must keep my eyes on the the Lord, because he is the only one that makes sense and in Him there is peace that surpasses all understanding. No matter who is in office or what the future holds, or how much racism still exists, God has given me one command, and I cling to that unwavering truth. Matthew 5:43-48 says,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
This is truly all I can do. I openly share my frustration with you, so you can see my struggle to obey the ONE who loved me when I was unworthy. I will continue to speak the truth in love, but above all, I must choose to love and love unconditionally. On those rare occasions when loving feels difficult, I walk away, just as Joseph ran from Potiphar’s wife, because as good as God has been to me, I cannot destroy my testimony. Sometimes that may mean blocking someone on social media, but isn’t that a better choice than responding with hate? Even if I can’t stop all the hate and racism in the world, I hope that by obeying God, when hate comes my way, it stops with me. Perhaps this will create a ripple effect, spreading love to those around me, and in doing so, I can help build a small world of love within the larger world. Throughout history, we know that hatred doesn’t work. Hatred has NEVER worked, no matter how justified it may seem. True love never fails! Love has always worked, and that’s the path I’ll continue to walk. I hope you will join me. It’s going to be hard. It will be daily dying as Christ died for us, but maybe together we can carry one another’s crosses and stop the hate from metastasizing.
“I love a few people and they love me and some of them are white, and isn’t love more important than color?”-James Baldwin
Dr. Anika T. Prather 