Anyone who follows me knows that I am very open about my faith and how it shapes my worldview, values and daily life. This is essential for me, because if I depended on my own thoughts and feelings for wisdom on how to navigate this often challenging world as a Black woman, the burden would be way too heavy to carry. Biblical wisdom is so helpful for me and I share it here, so that maybe others can be inspired by how God speaks to me and guides me through life.
I have shared before about my experiences with racism growing up in White and Conservative Christian schools in the 70s, 80s and 90s. I have also shared about some experiences I continue to have in the Christian and academic world (academia is BRUTAL to Black women). When I read most of the popular literature out today that seeks to provide an understanding on why we have these struggles, on one hand I feel validated in my feelings, because someone who does not know me is writing about similar experiences. On the other hand, I do not find a mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy path forward.
Words like “microagressions” or “unconscious bias” for example may seem like an innocent “naming” of our experiences but they feel judgemental. I try to avoid them unless I can really prove that a person’s heart is racist. The Bible says “Out of the heart the mouth speaks.” So I usually wait until a person has said or done something blatantly racist before I call a spade a spade. In my frustration, this is not easy to do. To bring you on a journey with me in trying to understand how to best name some of my subtle experiences with racism, I will focus on one type of experience: how Black people are seen…or NOT seen.
The immediate response to being unseen or seen in a wrong light is to label it as a microaggression, unconscious bias or racist. I usually have to fight going there in my mind to try and see a person’s heart. I can honestly say that by doing this, I have met people who may demonstrate this, but not intentionally. The racism in our country has caused all of us to be raised up with unconscious things that we do, because of our upbringing. If you have been raised in a home that constantly talks about the racism in our country, showing it to you in every nook and cranny of the country, then that is the only way you will see the world. That would be my struggle and I am trying to teach my children to see the world differently, while also balancing being able to see systemic racism and when they are experiencing racism. This is a hard balance. If you have been raised in a home that never SEES people of color or only sees them in a negative light, then that is the only way you will see the world and you may pass on that same perspective to your children. This means that if your children only grow up without having fellowship with diverse communities or only able to SEE us as impoverished, uneducated, committing crimes, or always in need of some type of “help”, then no matter how loving and noble a heart is, that is the only way you and your children will see us…until someone breaks that generational racist bias.
I am breaking these strongholds in my home by always opening our home to White friends and other ethnic groups, making sure my children are open to friendships no matter their shade of skin, taking them places outside of their community. Racism has made us all so frustrated with one another, that many of us tend to navigate the world without seeing one another. We stay in our neighborhoods and communities, when we go places we make sure to only be with those who look like us, we make our spaces unwelcoming to those who do not look like us and we are NOT intentional about inviting those who are different into our homes and communities. This is not something that will just happen naturally. We have to be intentional about drawing people in. The familiar is always the most comfortable place to be.
A personal example of what I mean is Lexi Hudson. When I first met her, I was a little surprised by how intentional she was to SEE me. For some time, I struggled to think it was sincere. Every conference I went to, she would make it a point to say, “Hi friend!” and to engage me in conversation that revealed a sincere desire to know me as a human being. There were no assumptions made about my life and background. Each conversation revealed that “I just see you and want to know you through our shared humanity.” Whenever she would come to my town in her travels, she would text, “Hi friend! I want to see you!” and then would invite me to whatever function she was attending. When we don’t see one another, there is always a text, a phone call, interactions on social media…this constant intentionality to build a bridge. I will be honest and say it took time for me to trust these actions, because my experience has usually seen these actions rooted in, “How can I use your brown skin to further my own agenda.” Then Lexi wrote this book called The Soul of Civility, where she expresses her heart about wanting all of us to learn how to basically love one another better. She weaves in the voices of so many diverse thinkers and writers and when she talks about this book, she demonstrates a deep passion and desire for this that you really can feel it in your soul. She worked on this book for 10 years…10 YEARS. It reminds me of my passion in writing my dissertation that took almost as long. My last chapter is about how I want to use classical education as a way to build bridges with others.
The story about Lexi, and thinking on my other friendships with those like Erin Tate or Christine Perrin or Joelle Hodge or my sisters at Bruderhof or EVERYONE at Classical Academic Press (like CAP is literally my FAMILY) and others is why I do not like words like “microaggression.” Because, throughout my life, there have been honest conversations in my friendships, where we all have had to take an honest look at how the racism in our country has shaped how we SEE or NOT see those who are different from us. The Bible says, that only the devil is “the accuser of the bretheren.” When we use judgemental words like “microaggression”, we are immediately judging by that which is external…by the actions. But God always looks at the heart first. So even when I do experience NOT being seen or being seen in a negative light, I have to choose the path of Christ and try to get to know the person’s heart first. When I do that, I usually honestly share with the person, about how a certain action has made me feel racially uncomfortable. I know it is off putting. I usually do not sugar coat very well, but those who are willing to hear my heart will listen and then they will respond letting me know where their heart is. At the same time, many often come around to see, “Oh my! I can see why that would make you feel that way. I’m sorry!” Or some have even said, “Oh my! I really did not SEE you or SEE you incorrectly.” and then healing happens.
There have also been those, who when I share, focus more on trying to make me feel guilty (because they have done so much for me!) for sharing OR even worse, as if I am racially paranoid OR there are those who when you confide in them, try to make you feel sorry for the person who has racially offended you, because maybe they were “just going through a lot and didn’t mean anything by it.” When any of these are the response, it is usually my first inclination of some racial issues that rest at the heart of the person. Our pride keeps us from really trying to hear one another so that healing can happen. Racism is rooted in pride. It is rooted in thinking your own personhood is superior to others and anyone who tries to challenge that is somehow out of line. So instead of trying to step into Samaria (you know that place Jesus’ disciples did not want him to go to because those people were different…) so that understanding can happen, some choose avoidance, which leads to broken relationships.
In this classical education space, I have experienced not being seen. This may surprise people, because I speak everywhere. But authentic SEEING is when a Black person is SEEN outside of when they are giving a speech on race. In education conferences, even though I have years of experience and 3 degrees in education, I am not SEEN as someone with expertise in education. In fact, my school is not really seen. I have actually had principals who know I have a school say to me, “Hey would you consider leaving your school to work for me??” I think of all of my precious students and how that person fails to appreciate the value of their humanity to even ask me a question like that, then I pray and say, “Oh I can’t leave these amazing students!”
I am often invited to speak on race, but being considered to speak on topics like how to lead a school (even though I have been a principal for many years and now have founded a school), don’t seem to be on the radar. In fact, inviting people of color to share their expertise in an actual field, without always talking on race, helps to naturally diversify a White space, because many times unconsciously, people of color are not SEEN as having the experience to speak on topics like how to start a school, training teachers, recruiting families, accreditation, lesson planning, or various curriculum content. Education organizations may be unconsciously communicating to attendees that mainly White people can only speak on these topics. In addition, when a quota is kept of having only 1 or possibly 2 Black people speak at a conference when there are surely more who can offer their expertise, it communicates that the organization wants to make sure that there is not TOO much diversity. I have actually had organization leaders say, “This year we want you to speak and next year we will have Angel Parham speak.” And then you see this sort of song and dance, of the organizations taking turns with when we will speak…as if having us BOTH at the same conference somehow goes over a certain quota. When I questioned another leader about why there is only one person of color on the list of speakers, when there are several in the community, the response was, “Well we can’t have more of you. I don’t know if we can afford that.” But the organization was able to budget for about 5 or more other White speakers.
It is really ok, to invite more than one person of color to speak at an education conference, even if you may not be able to invite 1 or more White people to speak…this time around. When the planning for these events happens (usually a year in advance), there are enough people of color in the classical education community with the expertise to lead all types of workshops, plenary sessions, panels, etc. so that the attendees SEE us. Actually, we usually don’t find out we are needed to speak until closer to the conference, as if our schedules don’t fill up too. There is the assumption that we can just be tagged in at the last minute to quickly show people, “See look we found a Black person to speak for us!” That box is checked. The quota is met. I love how Great Hearts reaches out at least a year in advance and invites our voices in at the beginning. Each time Rob Jackson and others from that organization schedule a literal one on one meeting to just talk about their vision for the conference so we can see how we can fit into it….A YEAR IN ADVANCE. Great Hearts SEES us as more than just meeting a quota of representation. All year long they are inviting diverse voices to lead teacher trainings on all types of topics. The freedom they demonstrate to include us is so refreshing and different from other experiences. Meeting the quota of representation is dehumanizing.
I think people meet the quota of representation out of habit not because they are racist or doing a microagression, which is why I resist using the word. When the Civil Righs Act was passed, it started this tradition of making sure there is at least one brown face that is allowed to come in. This gave birth to Affirmative Action. Because people in our country really do use race to choose who they will hire or include, it was necessary (and sadly it still is). Our country has chosen to force diversity, as opposed to seeking to change the hearts of people. Our whole way of being has been so limiting. Lines can’t be crossed, too many diverse faces can’t be let in, etc. I think it’s time to free our minds from those chains and to just be open to all of us gathering together around a shared passion, which for those of us who follow me is classical education and or the study of classics. I see this in CLT in how Jeremy is always dragging people into this gathering place. We are all in here, often disagreeing with one another about politics, racial issues, faith, etc. but sharing a love for this ancient tradition.
I just finished a 3 day summit with CLT that had its tense moments, but the beauty of the moment outshined those moments. This is what civil discourse looks like. It is an intentional SEEING of one another even if we disagree. It’s SEEING and HEARING one another and creating space for our worldviews, perspectives and experiences to be shared even if it seems to collide into how we may be seeing or experiencing the world. It’s not discounting the unique human experiences of the other because it is different, instead it is giving grace to the other to feel what they do about those experiences. At the same time it is giving space to HEAR those who see things differently. Finally, civil discourse is also resisting the urge to feel guilty, attacked, or offended when others share their human experiences, but being confident in your own heart’s intentions and having the courage to say, “I know you may feel this way, but this is my heart.” This builds trust, relationship and unity. If done well, without throwing around judgemental terms like microAGRESSIONS, then healing can happen.
At the CLT Higher Ed Summit, we all gathered to discuss how to revolutionize education so that ALL students can gain access to this tradition that has liberated so many people over the centuries. We argued, we laughed, we listened to jazz, we shared, we listened, we hugged, we ate and drank, we SAW one another and reminded ourselves to keeping SEEING everyone in this work of showing how all of our traditions are woven together with the Western tradition. Experiences like these prove to me more and more why it is essential to “judge not lest you be judged” (Matt. 7:1) and to make sure to “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” (Col. 4:6). Verses like these give me what I feel to be guidance from God on how I am supposed to respond, even as I struggle in my experiences as a Black woman. I must “speak the truth in love” (Eph 4:15) and I must “Let everything I say be good and helpful, so that my words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (Eph. 4:29). So being slow to use words like microaggression (and I am still growing friends) is my desire to follow the wisdom of God’s Word, so that maybe in how I demonstrate his gracious love, racial healing can come.
Dr. Anika T. Prather 