We are ALL Equally Human and Loved by God

One of the most troubling things to me is that many in the Christian community think that we should be identified by how we talk in an unkind way about people outside of the faith or who interpret scripture differently than traditional or more orthodox Christianity. There have been times when if I just simply declare that we should love everyone and treat people kindly, then someone from the Christian community declares that I am too “liberal” or a “democrat” when the Bible clearly says, “They will know we are Christians by our LOVE.” The Bible actually tells us NOT to judge, “lest we be judged.” Sharing the gospel and discipleship does not involve being unkind to people or judging them. In fact, in the early church, when the young man was caught in having an inappropriate relationship with his step mother, Paul’s instruction was on how to confront it, to dismiss him, but the process was leading to restoration. In fact, that whole process was for THE CHURCH, but sometimes we try to implement that process in the country and even the world, as if everyone should be “disciplined” if they don’t live by the same Biblical standard.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5:12, “For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside?” As a Christian who does live by pretty strict adherence to the scriptures, and who recognizes how hard it is for me, how could I place that same expectation on someone who does not believe as I do? To do that would be oppressive. Our walk with God is not supposed to be legalistic. Everything we do has to come from a love and respect for the laws of God. I am aware that there are some denominations of Christianity, that have a theology that believes grace extends to us being able to live as we choose and that God will love and accept us anyway. That as long as we are not harming anyone and that people are treated with kindness that we can focus only on the unconditional love of God. There are sects of Christianity that focus on worshipping only the love of God. I am thankful that I live in a country that allows all forms of Christianity and other religions to live in peace, worshiping as we feel called to worship. I openly share my faith and welcome anyone to experience this, but the faith path I walk is a very strict path and one that should not be done through oppression, but should be done from a place of love.

We live in a country that has Jews, Muslims, Catholics, Buddhists, Hindus, Atheists, Progressive Christians, Traditional Christians, Baha’i, Wicca, and so many more faiths I cannot even remember! I have said this before and I will say this again…America is not a church! The founders created this country to have FREEDOM OF RELIGION. The first settlers came here because they were running from a country that required everyone to have the same faith and belief. So I have the freedom to believe that when I spin yarn, I don’t mix wools and fibers. I have the freedom to believe that I should not eat pork or shell fish. I have the freedom to believe that I cannot drink any wine or beer. I have the freedom to believe that I should pray first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. I have the freedom to believe that I must read my Bible every day and go to church and Bible study every week. I have the freedom to believe that not only must I marry someone with the exact same faith as me, but they cannot be the same gender as me. I have the freedom to believe that I should not have sex before I am married. However, just as I have the freedom to believe this for my life and family, I must also understand and respect that everyone else has the freedom to believe that they DON’T want to live this way. I must teach my children and my students that not everyone believes or lives the same and if they don’t they are not inferior or loved any less by God. I must teach them and show them how to live by the same love that led Jesus to die for the WORLD. John 3:16 doesn’t say he was selective in who he died for. He sacrificed his love for those who were strict, liberal, believers, and non believers. He died for the thief on the cross and the soldiers who nailed him to it. God’s love knows no bounds. Jesus walked this earth and instead of focusing on legalism, he focused on loving people unconditionally. The unconditional love of God works well with our Constitution. There are some that think the strict laws of the Bible apply to all of America and they don’t. When the founders said that we all have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, that connects to the freewill God has given to us to choose the paths we take in life. We have to respect that in all people.

I was invited to speak somewhere about teaching the Christian worldview, including how I approach the topic of LGBTQ+ individuals. Here’s how I present these principles to my students:

1. I educate them on our faith’s teachings regarding God as the Creator of gender, marriage, and orientation, while also emphasizing the freedom people have in our country to hold differing beliefs.
2. Instead of using terms like “alphabet people,” I teach my students what each letter in LGBTQ stands for.
3. I emphasize that individuals with different beliefs about creation, sexuality, and gender are human beings who deserve respect and the freedom to hold their views.
4. I teach that in America, Christians can strive to adhere to every law of Scripture while respecting every person’s right to live according to their beliefs. This country offers FREEDOM to all of us.
5. I emphasize that love between people is real, irrespective of its connection to our religious beliefs.
6. I explain that marriage can be both a religious institution and a legal contract between two people. While I personally adhere to my faith’s teachings on marriage, I acknowledge and respect the legal right of individuals to marry whom they choose, even if it differs from my religious beliefs. My faith also teaches that we cannot marry outside of the faith, even if the person is the opposite gender. Yet, I respect interfaith marriages. I believe we should respect ALL marriages.
7. I choose not to label my gender on a Zoom call, but I respect how others identify. I recognize the challenges faced by those who feel trapped in the wrong gender and emphasize compassion over attempts to “fix” them, which I’ve seen lead to deeper depression.
8. I believe that our unkindness and disrespect, rather than LGBTQ+ identities themselves, can contribute to depression within this community. Respect for how a person identifies is crucial in reducing this frustration. Click to hear this story I once heard about a pastor. When he found out his son was transgender and began to go through suicidal thoughts, he decided to let go and love his son, now daughter, unconditionally, because he would rather have his child alive than to force them to accept his Biblical beliefs on gender identity.

After this experience, I was not invited back to speak again, but I’m content with that. My faith isn’t about gaining acceptance through mistreatment or mockery of those with different beliefs. If someone wants to understand my faith journey, I begin with the gospel and discuss the demanding path I follow. If they want to do a deeper study then we discuss the laws associated with my faith. True faith, for me, involves more than legalistic adherence, but these actions must be birthed out of LOVE for the God of this faith. Anything other than that is nothing more than oppressive legalism.

The friendship between Christ and Nicodemus is so powerful to me. Nicodemus did not become a follower until after Christ died. This means that the whole time Christ was alive, their relationship with based on mutual respect. The entire time Jesus talked with Nicodemus and walked this earth, they never came to agree with one another. Jesus loved him. He simply loved him and treated him with respect. Yes, Nicodemus eventually became a believer, but his friendship with Christ was not based on that. How can we model this in our every day lives? How can we model this during Pride Month? People spend so much time talking about the sin of “pride,” but it is called that because there is a community of people that have been bullied, mistreated, disrespected, discriminated against and made to feel less than human because they have chosen a life that doesn’t match traditional Christianity. Because of that history, there is a declaration of I want to be PROUD of my human right to live the life I choose to live.

We cannot make the laws of faith the laws of the land, because there will always be inconsistency. None of us could ever meet God’s standard of holiness, and this is why the Savior came. Our focus should instead be on loving ALL people, while teaching our children the Biblical standard for their own lives. We should be focusing on our own relationship with Christ. We should be focusing on sharing our faith so people understand Christian theology. People should not be expected to live as we do and they don’t believe as we do. The decision to believe has to come BEFORE following its laws. Without belief, a person cannot live it out OR they are being oppressed and oppressive religion is what the first settlers were running from. To be a nation that embodies the vision of America, we have to give space for different faiths, beliefs, religious practices to live in harmony and peace.

I am not just writing this to talk to my own Christian community, but I also write this to those outside of my faith. We are all guilty of intolerance. There are those who would reject me, because I am in a religion that restricts marriage to a heterosexual union. My faith, however is not just restrictive in that way. It requires its followers to marry those in the same doctrine and belief. Even though I believe that people have the right to love and marry whoever they want as citizens of this country, I do feel that different faiths have a right to have laws for who its followers marry, or how they live and function in society. If we take this away, then no religion is distinctive or definitive. The only thing we have to agree on is our equal humanity. All other differences should be able to be respected without judgement or rejection, as long as one is not seeking to oppress the other. So the question should never be what our moral opinions are, if those opinions aren’t hindering us from treating one another kindly.

We are currently living in a world where those of us who are traditional Christians are becoming fearful of living out our faith openly, because what we believe within our faith is interpreted as hate. This is illogical. I do not feel a Muslim is hateful because they believe women should be fully covered and I don’t. I do not believe that my friends who are gay hate me because my faith teaches that its followers must marry the opposite sex. My faith teaches that marriage and sex are more than just two people loving one another and wanting to be together. One of the reasons my husband and I both were in our mid 30s before we married is because we were looking for someone who had the same understanding of the spiritual and theological symbolism of marriage and intimacy. We belonged to a faith where we could not just marry anyone. We started with making the decision to believe and that belief led us to embrace its theology. All of our life decisions come from that foundation. It is the same reason my Buddhist friends meditate daily. It is a life practice. Most faiths provide guidelines for living and whatever those guidelines are should not lead us to hate those who don’t live by the same guidelines or to fear those who don’t live by the same guidelines.

One thing I teach my children and what I spend even more time teaching during June is that every gay person I know sincerely loves their partner. I then explain to them the pain it would cause them not to be able to love one another openly. I give the example of what if I were not allowed to love and be intimate with their father. I tell them how painful it would be to me. I try to explain human feelings and validate how people feel and that those feelings, whether gay, queer or transgender, etc are real. They are not to be mocked. They are not to be ignored. They are not to be dehumanized. They are different. They are outside of the Biblical teachings we follow within our church, but they are still real human feelings. Mistreating or dismissing them, changes nothing. There are no special “brownie points” with God for doing that. Even though our faith has a different belief, their father and I made a conscious decision to accept our faith’s guidelines for living and that is for US and those who also choose this belief.

Because marriage is a sacred symbol of my faith, it does not allow me to march in a pride parade or to post in celebration of pride month. My prayer is that this does not cause people to interpret this as hate or disrespect. However, my faith does give me the freedom to love all people equally as God loves all of humanity. I am given the freedom to advocate for their human rights. I am given the freedom to stand against any bullying or mistreatment of the LGBTQ+ community and ANY marginalized community.